As The World Churns

January '97

As the world Churns
The official BBS of Amish Rake Fight on the DALnet

Churn out a Post?

A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 12, 1997 at 19:40:34 (PST)

And there was much Rejoicing!

A Butter Patty from: Doc
on Sunday, January 12, 1997 at 20:02:54 (PST)

A million thank yous Billy!

Doc

A Butter Patty from: Fitzie
on Sunday, January 12, 1997 at 21:51:23 (PST)

Wahoooooooooooooooo You da MAN BillyBoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wahoooooo, that's all for now, can't think of anything else to say, will think later:)

Fitzie

A Butter Patty from: Doc
on Sunday, January 12, 1997 at 22:12:49 (PST)
Doc thinks you should look at this web page.

Oh, and I almost forgot:

Let's all thank Rob (RpmQ) for the rendering of the lamp-toting, obviously dairy-fed yet very cute Amish babe at the top of the page, as well as the main illustration on our ARF Home page.
Nice work Rob!!!

Doc

A Butter Patty from: Jen
on Sunday, January 12, 1997 at 22:38:58 (PST)

everything tastes better with a lil pat o butter on it...or maybe not :) nice work fellas

A Butter Patty from: Sh0ck
on Sunday, January 12, 1997 at 22:40:08 (PST)
Sh0ck thinks you should look at this web page .

Ummm hello????
Is this thing on??? Umm, just wanted to know, umm hello?? Dangit... um I'll, er Be back Later

A Butter Patty from:

on Sunday, January 12, 1997 at 23:26:31 (PST)

thinks you should look at this web page.

I would like to announce... (INSERT SHAMELESS PLUG HERE)
That the Mentally Whipped Page of the Week for 1-12-97 is none other
than..... (INSERT DRUM ROLE HERE) http://www.cris.com/~billstew/
or as you know it BillyZ's webpage!!!! Now Damnit Bill.... Add it to YOUR page... 8)

A Butter Patty from:

on Monday, January 13, 1997 at 00:42:49 (PST)

thinks you should look at this web page.

Just checking. Does this BBS rule, or what?

A Butter Patty from: Doc
on Monday, January 13, 1997 at 00:48:18 (PST)

Editing is tough, admittedly.

A Butter Patty from:

on Monday, January 13, 1997 at 00:50:32 (PST)

Test.

A Butter Patty from: scheky
on Monday, January 13, 1997 at 02:46:26 (PST)

WOW, this is too kewl. All hail the ARF BBS founders!!!

A Butter Patty from: halogen
on Monday, January 13, 1997 at 08:32:54 (PST)
halogen thinks you should look at this web page.

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! Yeah...we rule...yep!!! Bleely Babe!!! You DA ONE!! Thank you, Billy.
A lot of hard work to get this going, and it is greatly appreciated. And hey, I'd like to welcome 3 new additions to our picture gallery at the old homepage: Herr-Blucher, Popejohnpaulgeorgeringo, and TheBigCrab. A man of the sea, a man of the clot h, and a man of Whinny! Whinny! dimensions. (You can make me pay for that one later, Jason) DOH! I really like the background...makes me think of a nice freshly brewed cup of coffee...such as one might find at SoHo Saint Louis...hehe. Your graphics re ally kick ass, Rob. Thanks. And a nod to my co-host, DrForrester...who was overheard saying Friday night: "O Happy and Doris Day!" 911 was dialed shortly thereafter.

A Butter Patty from: the Boobie man
on Monday, January 13, 1997 at 15:37:49 (PST)
the Boobie man thinks you should look at this web page.

um.. boobies.

:)

Didja happen to check out the boobies on that amish babe at the top? rockin boobies I must say... I dunno why I am in such a boobie craze right now, but its just too damn cold to think of anything else.. What I would like more than anything right now, is a pair of nice warm boobies to cuddle up to.. don't get me wrong, I sorta like cold boobies too ;) but I've had it up to here with cold.. well, umm.. I've had it up to there ^ (way up to fitzies post, which is real high, taller than me even)... ok, nu ff z nuff...
<-- off like a dirty bra

A Butter Patty from: Fitzie
on Monday, January 13, 1997 at 17:13:54 (PST)

Alright Dammit to Hell Who's going to teach me to add a little picture:) Wahoooooooooo I'm so Happyyyyyyyyyy:) Anyways see you all in the room:)

Mikey

A Butter Patty from: Idiotboy
on Monday, January 13, 1997 at 17:21:48 (PST)

How totally kewl that the churn is finally a-churning. I'm practically beside myself.

And after many weeks, my local telephone company has finally reconnected my DATA LINE after disconnecting it (& several other phones) when they replaced a cable on my street! Their trucks were on my street so long that I suspect that the workers star ted getting their mail delivered there. When they first fixed it, I couldn't get more that a 2400 baud connection, and then the fun REALLY started. Is this the golden age of telecommunications, or what?

as you can see, I'm back and even MORE BORING THAN EVER! I am also more dedicated to CAPITAL LETTERS AND EXCLAIMATION POINTS!!!!!!
I hope that you are all well and remember me fondly.

Like the muscle-bound Austrian says, I'LL BE BACK.

XXX OOO

John

A Butter Patty from: Dave...yes that Dave...yes the one from before
on Monday, January 13, 1997 at 18:43:31 (PST)
Dave...yes that Dave...yes the one from before thinks you should look at this web page.

And so it shall be written in HTML, and so it shall be done...I'm back, for good this time, I'm somewhat improved, I guess, and I'm itchin for a whack on the head with a garden implement. What can I say, it's been months and months since I've talked t o most of you, and I've never had the opportunity to talk with a great many of you, but here I am nontheless. My computer is fixed, and whatever intelligence I managed to grab onto in the past few months is slowly but surely leaving me... it's just so beautiful...this page, this place, all of you...this might sound weird but I love you guys...And I hope very sincerely that this post isn't going all the way across the screen...oh shit...better check.

A Butter Patty from: Dave again
on Monday, January 13, 1997 at 18:46:55 (PST)

cool...anyway...spank me with a garden hose if it makes you feel good, and with any luck I'll see you gu ys in the room VERY very soon...
kiss kiss
Dave...yes that Dave

A Butter Patty from: Fitzie
on Tuesday, January 14, 1997 at 01:31:55 (PST)

Ok my PROVIDER can KISS my Ass, My monitor well it also can KISS MY ASS, anyways ju st wanted to say I won't be here for a week or 2, maybe 3, I'm gonna have to change providers again, and going to have to get a new Monitor, so just don't know how long that's going to take, but Hey McDuff
's is going out of business and they are having 25% off all merchandise so hopefully I will get a monitor there:) Anyways Wish me Luck!!!! GOD I'm so Happy Thanx Pumpkin!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fitzie

P.S. DAVE!!!!!!!! Great to see you BACK, This Web page Awesome!!! All you people that have pictures on this web page that I haven't chatted at yet, well WERE THE HELL ARE YOU??? :) BoobieRob Ive got your HOUSEOFHAIRSTYLE right here BUCKO!!!! :)

A Butter Patty from: Fitzie
on Tuesday, January 14, 1997 at 01:36:44 (PST)
Fitzie thinks you should look at this web page.

Damn i just read my last post and Damn my English sucks:) Oh Well Life goes on Que Sera Sera!!!!!
Cya all soon hopefully:)

Fitzie

A Butter Patty from: FunkyCat
on Tuesday, January 14, 1997 at 04:43:29 (PST)
FunkyCat thinks you should look at this web page.

Hey Guys!

A Butter Patty from: Puddin!!!
on Tuesday, January 14, 1997 at 08:52:11 (PST)

Hey...thanks for putting the pic up Doc! Blah this is about as cool as burnt toast!
Woo hoo!!! I'd also like to announce that for once I am happy beyond belief
and you know who you are...that person that makes me oh so happy...and no, it's
not you, you humping freak! ;)

A Butter Patty from: Dave
on Tuesday, January 14, 1997 at 12:45:21 (PST)

This is funny...because I'm such a wiseass, I clicked on the last months posts link and it took me here...I w onder where this post will show up...Guess I'll just have to see...

A Butter Patty from: Humping Freak
on Tuesday, January 14, 1997 at 15:01:00 (PST)

Darn.

A Butter Patty from: there once was a girly named knife
on Tuesday, January 14, 1997 at 17:32:08 (PST)

A once-familiar and oft-renamed stomping ground seems now to be inhabited by fres h young freaks and weirdos. I may just make a more sincere effort to come around more often.

Now hopelessly out of the loop,
Michelle

A Butter Patty from: Dave Monkey Pants Boy
on Tuesday, January 14, 1997 at 18:36:12 (PST)

Hello, I'm Margot Kidder. Hello, I'm Yasser Arafat. Hello, I'm Jean Stapleton. Hello, I'm Tom Cruise. Hello, I'm Warren Christopher. Hello, I'm Lenny Bruce. Hello, I'm Bebe Netenyahu. Yeah, that's it. I'm Bebe Netenyahu.

Hey, you guys...I just got all these cool stations a while ago, like Comedy Central, and the Cartoon Network, and the Sci-Fi Channel. I watch Cartoon Planet constantly now...nearly the funniest thing I've ever seen, short of Mystery Science Theater, which, by the way, is coming back February first on Sci-Fi. VERY cool. Anyway, Carton Planet...hahahah....there was this one sketch...hahahahaha....

Space Ghost: Hello. I'm a freak.

Zorak: Yes, you are.

Space Ghost: No, that can't be right. Oh, okay...I'm a geek.

Zorak: Yes, you are.

Space Ghost: That's right. I'm a big stupid geek.

Zorak: And you smell bad.

Space Ghost: Yes I do. I'm a big stupid smelly geek. (quieter) Zorak...this is the LAST time I let you write my lines.

hahahaha

Dave

p.s. this is the first legitimate stupid pointless post that I've made to date...it's such a good feeling. To be an idiot, that is.

A Butter Patty from:

on Tuesday, January 14, 1997 at 19:31:21 (PST)

To Quote......
"...and no, it's not you, you humping freak! ;) "
Well then... I'll take my humpin somewhere else thank you... and hey...
To be the man.... You got to BITE ME
BTW... No more Beer goggles.... >)

A Butter Patty from:

on Tuesday, January 14, 1997 at 20:26:19 (PST)

Heyas......................
Alright, I'm a bit tired of the lag on Dalnet, but, I love being in #Amish_Rake_Fight
Here's my idea though, to cut back on lag, we all need to be on the same server,
well der, you say right??? Well, let's get coordinated here... I suggest
xgw.fi.dal.net
for now..... >)
To be the man.... You got to be the man....

A Butter Patty from: that irish weedy girl chick type who fell off the face of the earth
on Tuesday, January 14, 1997 at 20:50:53 (PST)

Heyas guys
No.. im not dead... just seperate from reality... this rawks out loud.. cos once again you
guys have out done yerselves... :)
*smile*
Martii... proudly wearing her "I was there when u-net was hijacked" t-shirt

A Butter Patty from:

on Tuesday, January 14, 1997 at 22:00:25 (PST)

thinks you should look at this web page.
Damn...The Churn's only been up for 2 days and already we're getting posts that raise lunacy to
an art form...YEAH!!!!! But hey, Comedy Central...that's its job, eh? Welcome back, Dave :)
If you come back into Amish, I promise I won't ignore you this time. That is, unless Vueprint
changes all of my jpg's into FRIGGIN ZIP FILES again! I'm thinkin of putting Sh0ck on permanent
retainer...yeah, that's what I'll do...WOOOOO!!!!! Stylin'...and profilin'...

A Butter Patty from: Well Fuck...
on Tuesday, January 14, 1997 at 22:07:45 (PST)
Well Fuck... thinks you should look at this web page.

ok...maybe i was a bit hasty...
god, never a webmaster around when you need one...
(is this thing still on?) *cough*

A Butter Patty from: halogen
on Tuesday, January 14, 1997 at 22:41:45 (PST)
halogen thinks you should look at >this web page.

thank god i'm not killing trees here...

A Butter Patty from: Dave
on Wednesday, January 15, 1997 at 01:14:25 (PST)

Wow...I posted and then like 20 minutes later there were all these posts...this is good...I'm having a psyc hic moment here...I can see things starting to look really cool...this is going to work...we're going to rule...I can see it all now...I'm going to use way too many periods...oh well

A Butter Patty from: ohyeah
on Wednesday, January 15, 1997 at 01:22:53 (PST)

oh yeah?
yeah!
oh yeah?
yeah!

Sincerely,
O. Yeah

A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 15, 1997 at 03:13:24 (PST)

Is this werkin???????

A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 15, 1997 at 03:20:19 (PST)
thinks you should look at this web p age.

We be such Soho sillies.....Hey, Happy Birthday, Scheky!!!!!!! Woohoo!!!!!

A Butter Patty from: Spazz
on Wednesday, January 15, 1997 at 03:21:02 (PST)

First off, KEWL we got the ol BBS up.
Okay I gotta couple of thing to say here: 1) To all you people that are not regulars in Amish Rake Fight, stop by and say hi. You might jus catch me doing one of me famous tricks. :) and 2) To the regulars, as you all m ay or may not know I am workin on an ARF game and I would like your help. (Okay so I need to get a life ) What I need from you all is a desriptions of your attacks (finishing Moves) that we all affict on eachother in Chanel. After this game i s finished it will give us all one more thing to do to wait time. :) When i get this game finished and am satisfied with it i might jus post it right here at our home away from home, AMISH RAKE FIGHT. That is IF I get it done and if you, the Inmates will let me put all or our rake fighting secret here for the masses to read.
let me know, and THANX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. to the non-roomies: Now do you see what you are all missin'? SEE YA THERE!!!!!!!

A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 15, 1997 at 03:25:35 (PST)

sorry fer wastin space....but ya gotta do, what ya gotta do!!!!

A Butter Patty from: halogen
on Wednesday, January 15, 1997 at 03:40:03 (PST)
halogen thinks you should look at this web page.

Another test...this one for the link...Thanks, Mr. Webmaster :) BAWK! BAWK!

A Butter Patty from: Cubed_Rat
on Wednesday, January 15, 1997 at 06:31:02 (PST)
Cubed_Rat thinks you should look at this web page.

Hey kids! Wowzers! I wish I had time to get onto DALnet and stuff, but my computer at home is a bit

screwey at the moment, and Shan and I will be moving into our new house in a couple of weeks (right now we're
sharing a 10' x 10' bedroom-and all my stuff is still back in my house back in cleveland)..
Oh, yeah. I guess I should say that I moved to Columbus, and have a new job and stuff..well, nah, screw it, I won't say it.
Anyways, probably around march my life will settle down enough that I'll be able to hang in ARF and see all my
old buddies and enemies and get kicked and decide that you all suck and should die a horrible death involving
scorpians, spiders, and perhaps a cuisinart.

Rat
p.s. Timmy? Timmy? TIMMMMMMY!!!! write me before me and max the goat come over to your house and start
singing songs by Extreme.

A Butter Patty from: halogen
on Wednesday, January 15, 1997 at 07:44:58 (PST)
halogen thinks you should look at this web page.

Cubed Rob!!! Welcome to Amish! Nice visiting with ya. And yeah, you're turning into a TOTAL yuppie. (The Cuisinart was a dead giveaway) And welcome back, ISniffGlue! I mean...IEatGlue....hehe. Timmy, what're we gonna do with you, boy? LOL! Man, I am having to spend the night here at SoHo due to a horrific ice storm. Stuck in a warm friendly well-stocked cybercafe...puters everywhere...damn, it's rough. My car looks like this mutant glazed donut. I'm never getting outta here...(Yippeee!!) Se e y'all on the flipside... :)

A Butter Patty from: halogen
on Wednesday, January 15, 1997 at 07:45:12 (PST)
halogen thinks you should look at this web page.

Cubed Rob!!! Welcome to Amish! Nice visiting with ya. And yeah, you're turning into a TOTAL yuppie. (The Cuisinart was a dead giveaway) And welcome back, ISniffGlue! I mean...IEatGlue....hehe. Timmy, what're we gonna do with you, boy? LOL! Man, I am having to spend the night here at SoHo due to a horrific ice storm. Stuck in a warm friendly well-stocked cybercafe...puters everywhere...damn, it's rough. My car looks like this mutant glazed donut. I'm never getting outta here...(Yippeee!!) Se e y'all on the flipside... :)

A Butter Patty from: The puddin'.
on Wednesday, January 15, 1997 at 07:57:17 (PST)

hey humping freak! you know i love you so hump my leg already!

A Butter Patty from: Humper X
on Wednesday, January 15, 1997 at 22:20:24 (PST)

Whether you like it..... or whether you don't......
I'm the Best... HUMPER going... today.....
WOOOOO!!!!!

A Butter Patty from: Herr Blucher
on Thursday, January 16, 1997 at 09:40:16 (PST)

Well, grrrrrrrrrrrrreetings, folks. Just thought I'd check this out to see what the deal
was. The electrical shock when I logged on was a nice little nipple erector. Can't wait
for what comes next. Maybe a goose from a nice young Amish chick like the one above, or
perhaps a trip behind the barn, if ye know what thee means. Oh, yeah, Laura, rest assured
I'll get you for your equine reference. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and
for the rest of your life. Keep it churnin' ladies.

A Butter Patty from: Herr Blucher
on Thursday, January 16, 1997 at 09:46:25 (PST)

This is a test of the Amish Broadcasting System. "HEY, DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOC! WHERE AAAAAAAAAAAAAARE YOU!"

A Butter Patty from: Bonkey Dalls
on Thursday, January 16, 1997 at 13:34:33 (PST)
Bonkey Dalls thinks you should look at this web page.
< BR> Doc emailed

me telling
me that I don't
need to add
line
breaks

I don't believe him

A Butter Patty from: Doc
on Thursday, January 16, 1997 at 15:24:29 (PST)

Uh, I installed SpeedDoubler on my computer yesterday, and now it crashes when I use Ircle... but boy, does it crash FAST!
Doc

A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 16, 1997 at 19:10:22 (PST)

Really doc?? Well, there we have yet another quality crapintosh software package! LOL.. so rry.. I couldn't help it! :o)

ok.. now fer some instructions for you folks... if you are putting a link in the part of the form FOR sharing a link put in ONLY http://www.addyaddy.addy
and that is all.. if you wish to use an image as your name and you have a picture on the ARF main page... in the name field of the form put in this hmmm ok.. i have to re think this.. how do i put in html code in a post hmmm ok.. here's an idear. .. >img src="../yourpic.ext"<
but you MUST replace the > with a < and the < with a > god i hope this comes out! hehe my apologizes if this blows up your web browser.. :o)

sionara.. n stuff.

A Butter Patty from: Doc
on Thursday, January 16, 1997 at 21:02:48 (PST)
Doc thinks you should look at this web page.

Clear as mud Billy! And there you have an example of an instruction typical of a DOS-based OS. LOL!

I guess those of you whom wish to put your pic on your post will need to know the name I used for the pic. Here's the entire list:
anna.gif
artemesia.gif
bob.gif
brennon.jpg
crab.gif
david.gif
delroy.gif
dress.gif
edpoe.gif
funjimmy.gif
funkycat.gif
halo.jpg
herr.jpg
johnny99.gif
johno.gif
leary.gif
manson.jpg
marvin.gif
mrpbd.gif
pavarotti.gif
pinkyz.gif
pooh.gif
pope.gif
puddin.gif
sandy.gif
scheky.jpg
shivaa.gif
shock.gif
squiffy.gif

You'll just have to figure out which one is you.
Thanks,
Doc

A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, January 17, 1997 at 02:05:34 (PST)
thinks you should look at this web page.

Alas, at 4am the barn is empty. Here I sit, all alone, with only this WILD Berries flavored cooler, and this radioactivly warmed Arby's sandwich to occupy my mind. The lovely voice on the radio speeks only at me, but not to me. M y mind drolls on and begins to slow. A day spent chiping away at different things here and there now begins to chip away at my consiousness. And the little green men, (or were they fusia?) begin to tug at my cord and jepordize my now dull existance. I beg in to remember the days of the Strawberry Flavored Pop-Tarts and I am comforted somewhat. That is untill I also remember the day I refused to give up my Strawberry Flavored Pop-Tart and it became angry with me and became to scream, and fight, and eventual ly the Strawberry Flavored Pop-Tart screamed a last cry out that it would "TAKE US BOTH DOWN!" and then burst into flames! It was a sad day indeed for I did like my Strawberry Flavored Pop-Tarts, but alas his little tempertantrum left him as a pile of ash es, and me with my mechanisms burnt and siezed, thus forbidding me the one fruit I truly enjoyed, and so greedily refused to give up. My dear, Strawberry Flavored Pop-Tart. I will miss thee.

A Butter Patty from: Den Mother From Hell
on Friday, January 17, 1997 at 09:35:47 (PST)
Den Mother From Hell thinks you should look at this web page.

A lot of crashin' and burnin' goin on around here. Waddup with that?
Hey hey...check out the new website of BonkeyDalls (the erudite formerly known as CubedRat).....Thanks for the ARF link, Rob!!! It's refreshing to see a website that can pull off a sexy minimalist vibe in the graphics department. And unlike my sit e...IT HAS CONTENT!!! Woohoo!!! DocBaby...drop some ballast and come back to us. We loves ya "off-color" anyway!!! :) Hope I get so see you folks tonight. The weather outside is frightening...

You Must Remember This...

A Butter Patty from: Doc
on Friday, January 17, 1997 at 15:22:52 (PST)

Holy christ, this thing is going to fill up WAY faster than I thought.
I really didn't count on flaming kitchen appliances posting here, but I am happy to see them. So long as they are not MY appliances.

BTW, the text wraps itself and you really don't have to make your own line breaks. But it's fine with me if you want your post to come off like some perverted haiku.
"This churn is my churn, this churn is your churn..."
Please don't call it a dump.

Long may you churn,
Doc

A Butter Patty from: BillyZ
on Friday, January 17, 1997 at 16:09:51 (PST)

Scott's second Law:
When an error has been detected and corrected, it will be found
to have been wrong in the first place.

Corollary:
After the correction has been found in error, it will be
impossible to fit the original quantity back into the equation.

A Butter Patty from: Idiot
on Saturday, January 18, 1997 at 06:35:23 (PST)

HEY, DOC!
I've been a little down in the dumps lately, doc. My brain hurts. It's like everything is a terrible stew and I have to ster it. My brains are all typed out, y'know? I'm just glad there's a place like this where I can work out my personal problems , because, there's always something lurking around, isn't there? That's what it's all about, it?

There was something I wasn't supposed to say to you, Doc. I forget what it was.

-John the Buttpaste

A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, January 18, 1997 at 07:49:08 (PST)

WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

A Butter Patty from: Dave
on Saturday, January 18, 1997 at 11:49:57 (PST)

Un lesson de espanol...

"Hello Peter, the students are tired."
"Hola Pedro, los estudiantes son cansados"

"My head is warm"
"Mi cabesa es caliente"

"The goats are made of spam"
oops...

A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, January 18, 1997 at 14:09:13 (PST)
thinks you should look at this web page.< BR>
I've been so busy lately that I havent had a chance to
visit amish for a while.....doesnt mean I dont like you
freaks anymore...hehe. I'll be back on soon, see ya there!!!

A Butter Patty from: Meet the Press
on Sunday, January 19, 1997 at 10:21:11 (PST)

George Will:
(A) Respected conservative writer, or (B) a bow-tie-wearing pussy who throws a ball like a girl?
Vote Here.

A Butter Patty from: Eat Me In Your Dreams
on Sunday, January 19, 1997 at 12:32:36 (PST)

This "pussy" votes for (C): A respected writer for the press, on her way to meet her bow-tie-wearing girlfriend, throws a hard butter pat ty at George Will, smashing his conservative balls.

A Butter Patty from: Spaze---Dave...whatever
on Sunday, January 19, 1997 at 19:10:16 (PST)

I vote for (M) A small, very greasy, blue, slice of cheesecake in a brown paper bag, on an airplane to Abu Dhabi.

But hey. That's just me. And I might be weird. I'm still not sure.

Dayve

A Butter Patty from: http://www.concentric.net/~Ratshan/topix/netstuff/webpick.jpg
on Monday, January 20, 1997 at 09:44:52 (PST)
http://www.concentric.net/~Ratshan/topix/netstuff/webpick.j pg thinks you should look at this web page.

Well, Bill Clinton was just sworn in again, and it has made me realize something.
George Will DOES look like a very greasy blue slice of cheesecake in a brown paper bag.

A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, January 20, 1997 at 09:47:06 (PST)

oops, that's what I had meant to do before..i think

A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, January 20, 1997 at 09:49:42 (PST)

oops, that's what I had meant to do before..i think

A Butter Patty from: bonkeydalls
on Monday, January 20, 1997 at 09:51:39 (PST)

oh fuck it. i give up

A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, January 20, 1997 at 10:20:32 (PST)

A Butter Patty from: timmy
on Monday, January 20, 1997 at 17:11:35 (PST)
timmy thinks you should look at this web page .

Did anyone ever see that Guns N Roses video where some guy jumped in a cake?

Man, that was a stupid video. Just thought I'd tell ya.

lots of elven glee,

timmy

A Butter Patty from: BillyZ
on Monday, January 20, 1997 at 20:03:52 (PST)

that the little "party " they had after the innaugeration cost $43,000,000... and that all of our taxes paid f or $14,000,000 of it.

Just thought you would all like to know.

BIllyZ

A Butter Patty from: Doc
on Monday, January 20, 1997 at 20:40:22 (PST)

That sucks -- but I'd feel a lot worse if it were Dole.

A Butter Patty from: scheky
on Tuesday, January 21, 1997 at 03:28:53 (PST)
scheky thinks you should look at this web page.

Hey,

I'm thinkin about havin a party soon....anyone care to make a donation?

A Butter Patty from: bonkeydalls
on Tuesday, January 21, 1997 at 10:47:01 (PST)

I'll make a donation to the scheky-schindig, so long as the party ends with Kenny G on a sacraficial bonfire.

A Butter Patty from: Spaze
on Tuesday, January 21, 1997 at 14:49:55 (PST)

I know it's a little late in the season, but hey, after reading Rob's post I can't help myself...

"Kenny G, roasting on an open fire..."

hee hee

Dave

A Butter Patty from: Doc
on Tuesday, January 21, 1997 at 15:38:17 (PST)

Flaming Kenny? Count me in!!!

Also, could we drop at least one of his horns from a tall building and videotape it for "Real TV"?

A Butter Patty from: Delroy the Precocious!!!
on Tuesday, January 21, 1997 at 17:40:20 (PST)
Delroy the Precocious!!! thinks you should look at this web page.

Yikes!
That was quite a long read for someone of such low (and behold) attention span as myself. Well worth it, though! (He said, politely.)
Have I just got a really narrow computer screen, or what? Or is it my view on life in general?
(Narrow, get it? Nyuck.)

Wishing I was witty,
Del

A Butter Patty from: That Damn Plug Guy.....
on Tuesday, January 21, 1997 at 20:53:56 (PST)

Hey guys!!!!
Just thought I would get on here and ramble on for a good 10-15 lines or so. Did I tell you all that I udated my page and stuff?? Yes sir, I sure did. Go figuare. My WAVS page is up now also and I have a lot of the wavs that I over use on IRC on there. BTW... if anyone sees a REALLY good web page out there, email me and let me know. You don't know how silly it looks to have an awards page and not have anyone to g ive it to...
Also.... someone, I believe it was Doc, said that there was an #Amish_Rake_Fight on Undernet. I think that would be a good idea, in case the Dal goes haywire on us (Like it usually does to me). If you all want to, I can get the ball rolling and see if we can get a letter friend in there to help out in case someone comes lurking. Just a thought.

To Be The Man.....
You've Got to Beat the Man.....
WOOOOOO!!!

A Butter Patty from: shameless self-promoter
on Wednesday, January 22, 1997 at 06:55:46 (PST)
shameless self-promoter thinks you should look at this web page.

Hey Shockme! shockme shockme shockme! over here! over here!

looking for a good website? I have a link on my page to yours...check it out (http://www.concentric.net/~Ratshan) - the page is still in development...but hey.

ok, I admit I've stolen your idea and have created my own graphic that I've been handing out for people to link back to my page.....but what is the web if it's not a shameless theft of intellectual property?
See ya in ARF
cubed_rat/bonkeydalls/rob

A Butter Patty from: Herr Blucher c/o The Joan d'Arc School of Stake Toasties
on Wednesday, January 22, 1997 at 08:30:49 (PST)

I may be a little late on getting this in, but I'll see your Kenny G and raise you a Yanni. The gre at thing about both of them is that their considerable heads of hair will catch and make a pretty mini-fire. I say we get the Democratic Convention to sponsor this. What more worthwhile use for our tax money could there be? Except maybe getting Alanis Morissette some therapy.

Just a thought.

A Butter Patty from: Herr Blucher c/o It's None of My Business Anyway Society
on Wednesday, January 22, 1997 at 08:40:37 (PST)

So, does anyone know what the Amish Whore House is about. Everytime anyone goes in there, they clam up. Sometimes they leave and sometimes they boot you. Could it be the Marcel Marceau With a Chip on His Shoulder room misnamed? I mean, hey, I want some Amish whores, too, ya know. Frau Blucher (sound of horses whinnying) just ain't the lusty mama sh e used to be before she got hold of that Frankenstein guy. He ruined her for me. Always talking about "her needs" and "Why can't you be more romantic like Friedrich?"

Sorry, I digressed.

A Butter Patty from: The Society with a name that is a symbol sort of like the Artist formerly known as Prince's symbol, only different
on Wednesday, January 22, 1997 at 11:09:33 (PST)
The Society with a name that is a symbol sort of like the Artist formerly known as Prince's symbol, only different thinks you should look at this web page.

Perhaps, the women in #AmishWhoreHouse are merely perhaps they're merely representations
of amish whores, since the real

A Butter Patty from: The Society with a name that is a symb, that sometimes forgets to finish their postsol sort of like the Artist formerly known as Prince's symbol, only different
on Wednesday, January 22, 1997 at 20:33:21 (PST)
The Society with a name that is a symb, that sometimes forgets to finish their postsol sort of like the Artist formerly known as Prince's symbol, only different thinks you should look at this web page.

....er, like i was saying...since the real amish whores aren't online.
In my little corn-fed parts of Ohio, we call Amish Call Girls, "Holler Girls" -due to the lack of phone lines.
However, in some of the more progressive and unorthodox circles call them "can on a string girls"

A Butter Patty from: Fitzie
on Wednesday, January 22, 1997 at 20:37:13 (PST)

Wahooooooooooooooooooo:) hey everyone check this site out www.zone.com/ Sh0ckerz game it to me it's a inte rnet game zone that you can play cards, and checkers and chess etc... with others online it's kewl and fun Scott you da man and HEY PUMPKIN YOU OUT THERE??? you make me so happy:) Love you babe:) and I love all of you also:) especially you Doc Hubba Hubba sheep.wav :)

Mikey:)

A Butter Patty from: The Society of Whoring Amish Feminists (SWAF)
on Wednesday, January 22, 1997 at 20:37:44 (PST)

that's can-on-a-string-WOMEN to you, bud.

A Butter Patty from: halogen
on Thursday, January 23, 1997 at 00:41:34 (PST)
halogen thinks you should look at this web page.

WooHoo!!!!! (Sorry, I just love seeing my "WooHoo's" in the flesh, as it were.) Where did that tin can come from? DOH!!!

A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 23, 1997 at 01:09:48 (PST)

Yeah Me.....
Yes I finally did something right for a change!!! S}{0CK grabs a cookie off of someone's plate... I feel so special!!! If anyone missed it, this is the link to the URL. Well, with that out of the way....

It's that time again.... No, Halo, not another plug. It's time to announce another Mentally Whipped Page of the Week.... And the winner is (Drum roll please)
http://www.concentric.net/~Ratshan. WTG!!!

One last thing, can someone get Fitzie a mop, I almost slipped on the DROOL as I came in... 8)

Diamonds are Forever.....
And so is #Amish_Rake_Fight!!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOO

A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 23, 1997 at 01:10:49 (PST)

Yeah Me.....
Yes I finally did something right for a change!!! S}{0CK grabs a cookie off of someone's plate... I feel so special!!! If anyone missed it, this is the link to the URL. Well, with that out of the way....

It's that time again.... No, Halo, not another plug. It's time to announce another Mentally Whipped Page of the Week.... And the winner is (Drum roll please)
http://www.concentric.net/~Ratshan. WTG!!!

One last thing, can someone get Fitzie a mop, I almost slipped on the DROOL as I came in... 8)

Diamonds are Forever.....
And so is #Amish_Rake_Fight!!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOO

A Butter Patty from: xxx-puddin
on Thursday, January 23, 1997 at 09:15:25 (PST)

Blah...it's been one of those days in Chemical Engineering 430
I love you all as usual...and halogen...getting ready to ship it.

A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 23, 1997 at 09:36:27 (PST)
thinks y ou should look at this web page.

(Unable to play: theman.wav)
Gosh, Scotty, your post was so great I had to read it twice. Doh! Actually, I think Scheky holds the all-time record for duplicate posts in The Churn, with myself in a close second place. Um, is there like some kind of award for that too? And...HEY !!!! Somebody took out alla the Scheky dupes! Great, that means it's you and me, Scotty, FOOLS for all the world to see. Hee Hee! Anyway, the Zone Rocks, Me Doc Rules, and Friedrich flat out kicks ass...Wheeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 23, 1997 at 12:16:14 (PST)

My First Time Ever --:

The sky was dark, the moon was high;
All alone, just her and I.
Her hair was so soft; her eyes so blue,
I knew just what she wanted to do.
Her skin so soft; her legs so fine,
I ran my fingers down her spine.
I didn't know how, but I tried my best;
I started by placing my hands on her breast.
I remember my fear, my fast beating heart;
But slowly she spread her legs apart.
And when I did it I felt such shame;
All at once the white stuff came.
At last it's all finished; it's all over now,
My first time ever at milking a cow.

Moral : Teaches you not to think of everything with your mind in the
gutter.

A Butter Patty from: Fitzie
on Thursday, January 23, 1997 at 20:46:26 (PST)
Fitzie thinks you should look at this web page.

Great poem Billy, Thank God my thoughts are always PURE And as for the DROOL scotterz, Well it started January 9th around 12:30ish, HUBBA HUBBA, I saw an ANGEL!!!!!! ;) So get a BIG Mop Bucket cuz I haven't stopped drooling:) Anyways Me and my pure thoughts........ AFK while i adjust my Halo,......are off to the IRC SO You all better be there DAMMIT to HELL:)

Mikey:)

A Butter Patty from: Doc
on Thursday, January 23, 1997 at 20:48:29 (PST)

No it doesn't. :)

A Butter Patty from: The Amish Ebonics Institute (AEI)
on Friday, January 24, 1997 at 05:34:25 (PST)

To help you understand todays' youth, here's a partial list of Ebonics in the Amish Community (with Translations):

1. Pass the Pensylvania Dutchie - translation: We're not just growing hemp in those fields.
2 You is def - translation: Your parents confiscated your contriband radio.
3. She really raises MY barn -translation: Nice hooters!
4. Churn it out -translation: duh..

A Butter Patty from: halogen
on Friday, January 24, 1997 at 06:06:50 (PST)
halogen thinks you should look at this web page.

Fitzie: Can you say "He pulled back a bloody stump"? I knew that you could.

A Butter Patty from: pooh.gif
on Friday, January 24, 1997 at 10:21:48 (PST)
pooh.gif thinks you should look at this web page.

Just testing......

A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, January 24, 1997 at 10:37:05 (PST)
thinks you should l ook at this web page.

test

A Butter Patty from: FitzieDammitToHell
on Friday, January 24, 1997 at 11:56:57 (PST)

Alright DammitToHELL who's going to teach me how to put a gif instead of the name ARGHHHHHHHHHHH:) Ok seriously im not upset:) I just want someone to show me well show me how to put the gif up there:) Anyways....

Mikey

A Butter Patty from: Herr Blucher
on Friday, January 24, 1997 at 11:58:52 (PST)

Bloody stump? I'd hate to build a barn with those kinds of trees. Ugh.

A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, January 24, 1997 at 13:56:43 (PST)
thinks you should look at this web p age.

I dont know what your talkin about halogen. I've never screwed up MY posts!!!!!!!hehehe

A Butter Patty from: >img src="../herr.jpg"<
on Friday, January 24, 1997 at 14:52:36 (PST)

More Amish Ebonics:

Yo barn be a muh fuh - I like your barn

Shiiiiiiiiiii - There's a prayer meeting at Ruprecht's house tonight, would thee care to join me?

That rake kickin' - I admire thy rake weilding skills, but my 9mm will fuck you up.

Fuck you, bitch! - Whilst thou art my mate, I don't believe thy actions are completely in keeping with our Amish values.

I'm a get me some hoes - I'm going to the Amish Whore House, now. Be back around seven.

I hope this helps with the Amish/African-American relations we all hope will be beneficial to both cultures.

A Butter Patty from: Doc
on Friday, January 24, 1997 at 15:06:10 (PST)

Fitzie, try "".

And don't blame me if it doesn't work. Blame Billy.

Doc

A Butter Patty from: Dr. Dumbass
on Friday, January 24, 1997 at 15:12:06 (PST)

Oops.

That's "IMG SRC = ../pooh.gif", take away the quotations and add the arrow thingies. And it WILL work, as the above post (doh!) shows.

Herr, thanks for the language lesson. You be plowin' word, muhfuh.

A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, January 25, 1997 at 07:11:54 (PST)

Some muthafucka be fuckin up wid DIS muthafucka's nick. AND, muthafucka...when DIS Jack be
UP da ass slide come to jumpin' on it DEF DOWN...Shiiiiiiiii!....dat be one SORRY muthafucka...Nickserv call 911 my muthafuckin' ASS!!! Werd up. Shiiiiiiii!!!!!

God Almighty, I can't EVEN believe Jason made me do that. Hey, I gotcher cake RIGHT HERE, boy...

Apparently some bad little doobee stole my nick last night and didn't even have the fucking decency to change my "Real Name" (which of course isn't my real name...but that's BESIDE the point). So I think what you saw, Bleely, was the little dweeb get ting killed off over and over. I WARNT THAR!!!
The frustrating part is that when I logged on this morning, the big bad ol' Nickserv Nick Enforcer wouldn't let loose of it. After a couple of tries I offered him an Amish Taffy Pull. The guy quickly let loose. (God, I love the barter system! Wooh oo!) See, Jason, all that training paid off. Who said "the real amish whores aren't online"? DOH! yeah right...

OK, then I go to get my "hotmail" (not you, babe...), and I've got like 4 letters per header, all run together like "tears in the rain"----------->POETRY ALERT!!! So here I am, pulling apart these big chunks 'o mail, like so much Amish taffy...(inser t reverie here)....

--Del, I've been looking for ya, son...you witty, precocious, worthy-to-be-praised FREAK!!!
--Scheky...SoHo...tonight...BE there!!
--I've only been able to get online in the early mornings lately. And Amish is one dead little crawlspace in the post-wee hours. And Dayton won't talk to me...(sob!)... :)
--At the risk of being mushy and (HORRORS!) indiscreet... I LOVE YOU, DOC!!!! *sigh*

.....um.....it's a bulletin board, right? testing...

A Butter Patty from: Anon.
on Saturday, January 25, 1997 at 11:56:29 (PST)

ENGLISH - EBONICS

The Lord's Prayer - Big Daddy's Rap

Our Father, who art in heaven - Yo, Bid Daddy upstays

Hallowed be thy name - You be chillin

Thy Kingdom come - So be you hood

Thy will be done - You be sayin' it, I be doin' it

On Earth as it is in heaven - In dis here hood and yo's

Give us this day our daily bread - Lemme get my grub on

And forgive us our trespasses - An cut me some slack, dawg

As we forgive those who trespass - Cos I be doin' it to dem dat diss me against us

And lead us not into Temptation - don't be pushin me in a none uh dat crazy shit

But deliver us from evil - an keep whitey off my back

For thine is the Kingdom, the power and the glory, forever and ever. - 'Cause you always be da Man, twunny-fo seven.

Amen - Aaa-men

A Butter Patty from: Taco
on Saturday, January 25, 1997 at 16:05:54 (PST)

es taco?

A Butter Patty from: Burito
on Saturday, January 25, 1997 at 16:12:30 (PST)

no es taco, es Burito!

A Butter Patty from: Del of the Roy
on Saturday, January 25, 1997 at 16:14:03 (PST)
Del of the Roy thinks you should look at this web page.

Howdy!
A haiku --

New m i r c
Just downloaded it today
Colors shalt I see!

Another --
(In Spanish, sorta)

Me pantalerros
Donde esta me perro?
Tu cerveza? NO!

Well . . . . Nuff said.

A Butter Patty from: halogen
on Saturday, January 25, 1997 at 16:45:53 (PST)
halogen thinks you should look at this web page.

WTG, Billy! WooHoo! See, Scheky? We're not the only ones who like to push our mouse buttons so many times. :) Of course, after Mr. Hot Stuff corrects the problem, this post will make no sense at all...well, screw 'em if they can't take a joke...he he

A Butter Patty from: halogen
on Saturday, January 25, 1997 at 16:46:15 (PST)
halogen thinks you should look at this web page.

WTG, Billy! WooHoo! See, Scheky? We're not the only ones who like to push our mouse buttons so many times. :) Of course, after Mr. Hot Stuff corrects the problem, this post will make no sense at all...well, screw 'em if they can't take a joke...he he

A Butter Patty from: img src="http://pooh.gif
on Saturday, January 25, 1997 at 16:54:42 (PST)

Ok let's see if i did this shit right with the gif, Hey i just wanted to be HIP like you all, you know Down wit it, In with the in crowd, Word to the mutha:) AnyWays this SHIT better work, or else I'll just umm go on with my life, cuz it doesn't really matter:) Anyways I LOVE YOU MARIA, But you already knew that:) *sigh* be still my beating hea rt!!!!

Fitziepoohbear

A Butter Patty from: FUCK IT
on Saturday, January 25, 1997 at 17:03:10 (PST)
FUCK IT thinks you should look at this web page.

FUCK IT I GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARghhhhhhhhhhh:) actually I don't give Up umm what did I type wrong anyone? anyone? img src="http:// pooh.gif? am i suppose to type it like that in YOUR NAME? anyone? anyone? Well just let me know in the room or some thing:) I'm very patient DAMMIT TO HELL TELL ME NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW:) Yes once again it's time for Fitzies Chill Pill:) byesssssssssssssssssssssssssss :)
Mikey

A Butter Patty from: She Who Hallucinates Freely...
on Saturday, January 25, 1997 at 18:46:04 (PST)

Okay, big boy.....you deleted YOURS, now how about deleting mine? :)

A Butter Patty from: That S}{0CK Guy.....
on Saturday, January 25, 1997 at 21:33:25 (PST)

A Pre-Valentine's Day Poem
By S}{0CK
Roses are Red.....
Roses are Blue....
I Don't Drink from your Toilet.....
So Don't Pee in my Pool.

To Be The Man.....
You've Got to Beat the Man.....
WOOOOOO!!!

A Butter Patty from: That S}{0CK Guy.....
on Saturday, January 25, 1997 at 21:34:20 (PST)

A Pre-Valentine's Day Poem
By S}{0CK
Roses are Red.....
Roses are Blue....
I Don't Drink from your Toilet.....
So Don't Pee in my Pool.
Yeah I suck.....

To Be The Man.....
You've Got to Beat the Man.....
WOOOOOO!!!

A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 26, 1997 at 14:25:38 (PST)
thinks you should look at thi s web page.

ok ok ok... so it's not done yet.. but go have yerself a looksee anywho.. ;o)

Billy

A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 26, 1997 at 15:51:23 (PST)

WTG, Pinky! Looks promising...disturbing, even...LOL!!!

A Butter Patty from: PuDdDdDdiN!!!!
on Sunday, January 26, 1997 at 18:34:38 (PST)

blah blah blah...i'm just whining as usual. anyway, just thought i'd share...I love you Fitzie!! just thought i'd share that too...

A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 26, 1997 at 18:41:10 (PST)
thinks you should look at this web pag e.

Crossing my fingers Hoped it worked right:) Hey billy did i get the Link right?????? Anyways just testing Thanx Laura for showing me how!!!!!!!

Mikey

A Butter Patty from: puddin. blah.
on Sunday, January 26, 1997 at 20:19:53 (PST)

while all y'all are chatting...thought i'd vent my frustrations with evil people! you know who you are and i hate you. blech. ok now i'm better... love you amish freaks!

A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 26, 1997 at 23:22:21 (PST)

i'm just wasting some space while i try a few new things.hey!give those poor evil people a break.
jen

A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 26, 1997 at 23:34:39 (PST)

damn typos!

jen

A Butter Patty from: Herr Blucher
on Monday, January 27, 1997 at 10:35:15 (PST)

Hey, just posting to say I miss youse guys

You my homies

Be chillin'

Might catchya this weekend.

A Butter Patty from: halogen
on Monday, January 27, 1997 at 11:57:51 (PST)
halogen thinks you should look at this web page.

Morning, Amish Babies! I may not be here Tue. or Wed. SoHo will be closed for some renovation/painting. Did you know that we are located in an old pharmacy? (Go, drugs!!) The building is way cool...art deco period, I believe...a very nice space. T here is also a very strong rumor that #Amish_Rake_Fight will soon be added as a link on the SoHo Saint Louis webpage. Go, Ian! Anyway, we are expecting another ice storm to hit at any minute. Hope I'm able to get up there today. Had fun last night. W e rule!!! {{{Doc***}}}

A Butter Patty from: Doc
on Monday, January 27, 1997 at 23:09:15 (PST)

I get mail...

Dear Doc,
I was hoping if you could help me out. i have downloaded
quite a few of your sounds but i don't have aol. I frequently
use yahoo chat and i was wondering if you could tell me how to use
the sounds in yahoo. If you can't tell me could you try to find a
place that could tell me how? Please help me!
Jeff
irvan@erols.com

Jeff,
Sorry to disappoint, but I know nothing about Yahoo chat. IRC is the
best place to play wavs. If you have a PC, get mIRC 4.7. If you have a
Mac, get Ircle 3.0. Then get on IRC via irc.dal.net or irc.undernet.org.
You will find it loads more fun than Yahoo or AOL.
Doc

where can i get irc at. can i get it from the web?????

NO, i am NOT going to reply to him.
Doc

A Butter Patty from: S}{0CK
on Tuesday, January 28, 1997 at 00:04:47 (PST)

.... Since I was a young man, I played the silver ball....... All right, time for another week of listening to me plug my web page. What did you think, I forgot??? Heh.... Alright then, This weeks winner of an all expense paid trip t o my AWARD PAGE is.... The Bag Pipe Report (A wrestling page)

A Butter Patty from: heyyyy
on Tuesday, January 28, 1997 at 10:52:28 (PST)

heyyyy....heyyyy....heyyyy...heyyy...heyyy...heyyy...heyy.. .heyy...heyy...hey...hey...hey...he...he...he...h... h...h............

A Butter Patty from: Herr Blucher
on Tuesday, January 28, 1997 at 15:13:35 (PST)

I'd like to share a few ideas with those of you who have too much free time on your hands and have been on the net just a bit too much. Here are some hobbies you might want to consider.

Midget wrestling
Oil wrestling
Oil refinery
Changing your oil
Changing your child
Changing your name
Otolaryngology
Herpetology
Watching the X-Files
Taping the X-Files
Starting some X-Files of your own
Finding anagrams in the names Mulder and Scully
Finding out what "anagram" means
Serial killing
Finding out why the hot water is always on the left and the cold water is always on the right
Defecting to Sri Lanka
Defecting to Botswana
Learning Botswanan
Spelling "Botswanan"
Thinking of 101 erotic uses for a rake
Mastering peyote archery
Pondering whether Julie Andrews would have been better in the film of "My Fair Lady" than Audrey Hepburn.
Pondering whether Marlon Brando would have been worse in "Mary Poppins" than Dick Van Dyke
Butt waxing
Pre-operative shaving volunteer
Condom Testing (WOOHOOOOOOOO!)
Tracking down Gary Coleman and kicking his little ass
Memorizing George C Scott's opening speech from "Patton"
Memorizing the script of the film "Witness"
Working John Wayne's one line of dialogue from "The Greatest Story Ever Told" ("Truly, he is the son of God") into every conversation.
Masturbating

Hope these'll be of some use. And as always, feel free to improvise.

A Butter Patty from: Butt Waxer
on Wednesday, January 29, 1997 at 07:11:54 (PST)
Butt Waxer thinks you should look at this web page.

I think Marlon Brando wouldn't have been as good as Dick Van Dyke in "Mary Poppins," but he would have been better than Julie Andrews.

A Butter Patty from: Butt Waxer
on Wednesday, January 29, 1997 at 07:18:29 (PST)
Butt Waxer thinks you should look at this web page.

A Butter Patty from: Bonkey Dalls
on Wednesday, January 29, 1997 at 10:27:42 (PST)
Bonkey Dalls thinks you should look at th is web page.

Not to complain about Billy's work, but perhaps the place where you type in your butter patty could still produce the page that follows it, but it doesn't post until you view and agree to "churn it out" once again....just a thought..dunno how to do th at, but someone as smart as billy might be.

Oh, and I just wanna shamelessly promote my webpage once again, coz I've started a dynamic "front door" to the site that changes daily, and, would, um ....kinda would like to have an audience or something....i dunno..nevermind.

A Butter Patty from: pud pud bo bud...
on Wednesday, January 29, 1997 at 11:13:49 (PST)

so like you know...iowa sucks my butt...get me out of here someone! anyone! please!

A Butter Patty from: Herr Blucher
on Wednesday, January 29, 1997 at 11:26:07 (PST)

Thanks, pud, for giving us another suggestion (one I'm sorry I forgot) for hobby alternatives: butt sucking. Fun for a girl AND a boy.

A Butter Patty from: folk man
on Wednesday, January 29, 1997 at 22:20:53 (PST)

(To the tune of "I'd like to teach the world to sing")

I'd like to make the world a steak,
And cook it all night long,
I'd like to do some nifty tricks,
With a cardboard schlong,
I'd like to make a great big steak,
And maybe I'd make two,
One for all the rest of them,
And baby, one for you...

Happy Early Valentine's Day Everybody!

A Butter Patty from: Monty
on Wednesday, January 29, 1997 at 22:21:56 (PST)

***WARNING!!!***
Please, for the love of God, do NOT attempt Butt Sucking without the proper equipment and training!

We at ButtPro would like to make the case for hiring a trained professional:

We only use modern and UL-approved sucking equipment from Butt Devil(R).
Your friendly (and gentle!) ButtPro man has been through a rigorous 90-day training program at our own ButtPro University in Anus, Texas.
Your ButtPro service call comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee if not 100% satisfied.
We accept Visa and Mastercard.

Thanks,
Monty
Your friendly (and gentle!) ButtPro Customer Service Technician

A Butter Patty from: Monty
on Thursday, January 30, 1997 at 01:03:02 (PST)

Sorry, forgot to leave our number: 1-800-BUTT-PRO.

Monty

A Butter Patty from: Another Satisfied Customer
on Thursday, January 30, 1997 at 07:41:58 (PST)

To Whom It May Concern:
I had the pleasure of utilizing the services of ButtPro in the privacy of my own home. The technician (I think his name was Monty-something) arrived very well-equipped and showed great skill in the use of his equipment. It was obvious to me tha t this man was well-trained. I have tried
other butt-sucking services, and ButtPro stands heads above the rest in the professional suckage department. Although I am a bit disappointed that you don't take American Express, I can truly say with confidence that I will be a repeat customer. As for Monty, he was very friendly (and gentle!). And he was very kind to my pet sheep, which really went above and beyond the call.

Thanks Again,
Fitziepooh :):):)

A Butter Patty from: BUTT PRO, SCHMUTT PRO
on Thursday, January 30, 1997 at 08:22:23 (PST)

I eat butt-suckers like you for breakfast.

A Butter Patty from: woops!
on Thursday, January 30, 1997 at 08:25:09 (PST)
woops! thinks you should look at this web page.

CORRECTION:
"butt-suckers like you" was a typographical error. please insert the word cereal in its place.

thank you.

A Butter Patty from: Herr Blucher
on Thursday, January 30, 1997 at 10:34:41 (PST)

I in no way meant to suggest that ANYONE try butt sucking without the proper equipment. (That goes for masturbation,too!) I was merely suggesti ng it as a hobby.

And Monty, I'm glad you wrote. I've been trying to get a ButtDevil 2000E for the longest time. I have a 2000D, but it's hopelessly out of date and just doesn't meet the specs of the "E." If you could tell me what the hold-up on this state of the ar t rectal vaccuum is, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.

Yes, Fitzie, the people at ButtPro often go above and beyond to please their customers. Not to overanalyze the situation, but the ButtPro people are almost pathologically inclined toward their work. A fine example of profession meeting personal inte rest.

A Butter Patty from: halogen
on Thursday, January 30, 1997 at 12:12:16 (PST)
halogen thinks you should look at this web page.

Jason, my churning Avatar of all that is......churning......yeah....that's right....
Oh you silly people....
"I'm not really a ButtPro Professional, but I play one on TV..."
SCREW YOU, ORKIN MAN!!! Wheeeeeeeeee!!!!

The Churning Goddess Of All That Is.....Churning......yeah.....that's right....

A Butter Patty from: The ButtPro Police
on Thursday, January 30, 1997 at 12:41:50 (PST)

**CAUTION**
Masquerading as a ButtPro professional is a crime punishable by law. Unlicenses ButtDevil use can be hazardous to your health.

That means you, halogen baby. :)

A Butter Patty from: Monty
on Thursday, January 30, 1997 at 15:09:17 (PST)

Dear Mr. Blucher,

Thank you for your kind letter regarding our service. It is gratifying and refreshing to see the word "pathological" used in a positive fashion.

The "E" series Butt Devil(R) is a custom-spec machine designed specifically for ButtPro. It is considerably more powerful (and gentle!) than the "D" series machines which are available to the public. Butt Devil(R) may well release a version of this ha rdware to the public; however, we are currently unaware of any plans to do so. You may wish to write to Butt Devil for more information.

Thank you,
Monty
ButtPro Customer Service Technician

A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 30, 1997 at 19:28:23 (PST)
thinks you should look at t his web page.

-DALnet- [NET-WIDE NOTICE] Once again, if you encounter someone mass-inviting you or mass-advertising to you do this: If you use mIRC, type /RAW HELP and then the nickname of the person advertising, if you're using PIRCH, do /VERBOSE HELP and then the nickname -- for ircII, type /QUOTE HELP and then their nick. You will not receive a reply, however they will be banned from DALnet At Once--this is so they cannot annoy you with advertisements again in the futur

just thought I'd share :o)

BillyZ

A Butter Patty from: Dave---At one time thought to be the sole voice of reason in this looney bin
on Friday, January 31, 1997 at 00:00:10 (PST)

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!?!?!?!?!?!????? With the buttsucking and whatnot....you are all sick, depraved, morally corrupt individuals and should seek some kind of psychiatric treatment at once! But I'm sure your high school guidance counselors already told you all that. Sigh...2:30 am on a th ursday, I'm sitting here watching the end of The Blues Brothers(still a classic), and I feel, in layman's terms, somewhat crappy. As I'm sure you all remember, school was never any fun, and it seems as if lately the planets have aligned and caused weird conspiracy-theory type homework plans to fester and grow inside my teachers' collective groupmind(I'm convinced my teachers share one mind between the lot of them, that's the only way they could inexoriably pile so much shit on me at once). Whenever this much assignment type shit starts to pile up on me at once, I get all bummed out and sick of everything...Everything I worry about on a daily basis seems 10 times worse than usual and I start to contemplate leaving all this shit behind for good...Sometime s I wonder what the point of all this loneliness is...Of course I took a nap so I didn't get done with everything(or at least the minimal portion of everything that I completed) until about quarter after two, at which time NO one was in the room, which is *great* because I really could have used someone to talk to instead of putting all my little inadequacies and general neuroses out in the public forum...but then again, I've never had any problem with sharing my weirdness with you guys in the past...when I start feeling bad or guilty about going on and on about my problems like this is when i leave. It might not be apparent at all times, but I care a lot about everyone here(The people I know that is, if I haven't met you yet just humor me for the moment ), and if I were to stumble upon an equally long and rambling post like this from someone else, I would be more than glad to read the whole thing and proffer my opinion on the grand stage that I've always felt the bulletin board to be. I think being imp erfect people(as we all are) in an imperfect world like this, we all need more than a little support from our friends from time to time, and it makes me buttsuckingly happy to know I can rely on you guys for that more than small measure of support that ca n be so essential for maintaining the vague semblance of sanity that most authorities require, and I hope you know you can count on me for the same. Put simply...I love you guys.

Wow...it's been quite a while since I did that. Sorry for hogging the bandwidth like that, but occasionally I do that sort of thing...And if there's any glaring errors in the text that make this unreadable(well, moreso than it would be anyway), blame it on Netscape and the way the text gets all messed up in the message box when you try and go back and alter something that you've already written.

A Butter Patty from: bonkey dalls
on Friday, January 31, 1997 at 07:03:33 (PST)
bonkey dalls thinks you should look at this web page.

Dave - don't worry about the bandwidth, it's not nearly as huge as billy's post that uses letters 14 times the size of a 20" monitor...heh

A Butter Patty from: halogen baby
on Friday, January 31, 1997 at 10:29:12 (PST)
halogen baby thinks you should look at this web page.

Ehhh bite me, Copper! I got yer E-series right here, bucko...
Don't worry, Billy, my doctor says my retinas should re-attach in about 2 months with the proper amount of rest. And of course I have a 20-foot image of DALNET burned into my brain forever, thank you very much...So Billy, YOU get to read me my bedtim e stories from now on...fair enough?
/raw help THIS, Pinky...:)

oh yeah......{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Dave*}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, January 31, 1997 at 11:03:23 (PST)

Hey, Everybody! This is the end of The Churn's FIRST MONTH! Woohoo! Although the actual anniv ersary is more like Feb. 12th...("honestly," it is...) it's time to move into February posts and LESS LOADING TIME...Yeah!! Thanks for your bodacious patties!!! You've made this site a huge success. Thank you, Doc, for your generosity, babe. Gosh I l ove you guys...Now WHERE'S MY FUCKING STATUETTE?

Your Sultry Den Mother :)

A Butter Patty from: Herr Blucher
on Friday, January 31, 1997 at 11:51:57 (PST)

I got yer statuette Buckarina, and it's ready fer yer "E" Series, too.

(Man, all this innuendo is just heatin' me up.)

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